Reporter : This is the big bit of the show, the one we’ve been crossing our fingers for. We’ve got a satellite hovering over the building and a satellite hovering over Los Angeles. We’re off now live, that was James ‘Sit Down’ hence standing up sitting down. Now we’re going live to LA to talk to two members of James. Hello James. Hello James.
Saul : Wish they’d hurry up, Jesus.
Reporter : James, James
Saul : Come in Moscow, come in Moscow
Tim : Hello
Saul : Hello
Reporter : Hello, you little swines, hello
Tim : We’re in LA.
Saul : We’re in LA
Reporter : I didn’t ask you a question
Saul : We’ve got this satellite gap
Reporter : Listen lads, we just heard that brilliant song Sit Down. Your biggest hit, frankly you’ll never get better than that in my eyes. What was it like having a hit like that?
Saul : Sit Down went in the charts at number 7 and I think all of us went “Hang on a minute, something’s happening here. Now we’ve got to focus”. And we never did.
Reporter : What’s the price of fame lads? During this answer, the one of you on the right just laugh
Tim : We’ve had an easy ride with fame. We’ve haven’t been….
Saul : (laughing) sorry
Tim : What are you laughing at?
Saul : He said “Divorce”
Tim : Is that what he said? Yeah, the costliest thing about fame is divorce.
Saul : That’s why I couldn’t help laughing, because it’s genuinely funny.
Tim : Very good Andy
Reporter : What in hell was that all about? Tim, you’ve had a neck injury
Tim : Speak up Grandad
Reporter : Tim, you penis, you’ve had a neck injury. You penis.
Tim : We had to do Lollapolooza which was a 36 date tour of America with me in a neckbrace and a kind of travelling nurse with me. Which was a really bizarre experience cos it was the tour from hell anyway. It actually meant that I got my own quieter bus which was quite nice. I actually had one of the best rides but it was quite bizarre.
Reporter : You ponce. Rumour has it, Tim, that you’ve been performing in bandages
Tim : I can’t dance like I used to dance with my neck at the moment. I’ll have to wait another year or so before I can do that.
Reporter : Does that mean we won’t be able to see your hilarious dance style Tim? That manic thing you do. Come on
Tim : We had this amazing festival in Switzerland, Hultsfred, where we had to stand in for Status Quo when we had to play to 15,000 Status Quo fans and we won them round which was a very weird and nervy experience.
Saul : I think if anyone, if this programme goes out anywhere in Sweden, we should say that Hultsfred is in Sweden.
Tim : Perhaps we should, it might help
Saul : You see this is what happens all summer. We get on less festivals than we should because we keep turning up to the wrong country.
Reporter : You’re crazy guys, I can tell that much. Last week, Liam was slapped for being a bad boy, what sort of fun and games do you get up to?
Saul : How about this? Dave, our drummer, on the roof of our bus in Auburn Hills wearing nothing but a pair of old Calvin Klein boxer shorts with a rolled cigarette in one hand and a pint of beer in the other with a pair of Wayfairer shades with a prostitute bent double in front of him wearing a bikini for example, and the whole Lollapolooza tour. We’re all there taking photos and it’s the best thing I’ve ever seen.
Reporter : What a bunch of rubbish that was. I bet you made that up. Right James, you’re releasing your Greatest Hits now, is that not selling out? I bet it is. Come on.
Saul : Why are we doing this?
Tim : Because somebody pointed out to us that we’d had something like 14 consecutive Top 40 singles and we were like “Have we really?” and “Yeah, do you want to put them out as a Greatest Hits record?”, “OK”
Reporter : Tim, give me a hippy nomad answer to where you’re living now
Saul : He doesn’t know. He’s going through what I went through for years.
Tim : I’ve lived in a suitcase for the last few years. I have a woman I’m marrying in New York,
Saul : One in Barbados
Tim : A son in Brighton, a house in Manchester and work in London.
Reporter : The satellite link is breaking up lads, thanks very much, you’ve been brilliant
Saul : I have this lovely house beside a mountain in Scotland
Reporter : Shut up
Saul : I’m having the time of my life up there when I get to see it, surrounded by forests and wonderful people, it’s a mad party house actually.
Reporter : I didn’t even ask you a question. Shut up. Goodbye. Off you go.