GOTCHA! EACH week at extortionate expense and with total credibility, Bizzerk! encourages star-struck rock heroes to assault one another with the now legendary spikey stick. This week
RevCo head ALIEN JOURGENSEN plays part-time lobotomist with JAMES. He’ll nuke ya!!!
YEEHAW, ya scrawny runt-looking baggied assholes, how’s the drug taking? Whaddaya mean ya don’t do any, ya spineless bastards? Don’t ya know that a man ain’t no man unless he’s done some horse- man? You stringy-haired veggie-f**kers.
Whaddaya mean ya don’t eat cows? Over here we roast ’em whole, kill ’em, cut ’em up and stuff ’em with smiley assholes like you. Geez spare me from that no meal nonsense.
Just look what it’s done to you. Look at your sodding single- what kinda an idea is that? ‘Sit Down’? Sit down!! Stand up and sit on my face instead you weight-laden, fat-ass bastards
That’ll teach ya a lesson – that and a few hundred stampeding steers riding roughshod over your buttocks, you sensitive limey disco fags.
And call that a remix? That’s got about as much chance of getting a diehard narcoholic onto the dancefloor as a wet handshake from George Bush. So piss off back to the Manchester outback you pig-ignorant, tousle-haired buckets of lamb spunk. You and The Stone Roses.